Saturday, December 7, 2013

Finding Some Confidence

With the semester ending and the holiday season beginning, I've not had much time to blog recently. 

I'm currently stuck in Dallas because of the winter storm and find myself with some unexpected free time.  This is the view from my hotel window.  It doesn't look too bad from here but there's a lot of ice.




My flight home today was cancelled and I'm on hold, at this very moment, trying to talk to the airline.  The airport here is basically shut down, and  I don't really expect to get out of Texas anytime soon.  I'm a little frustrated....and super bummed that I won't get home to see my boys today.  I've been away for four days, and I miss them terribly. But I'm trying to be positive.  I'm definitely grateful that I'm still at the hotel and not stuck at the airport sleeping on a cot, but I'm ready to be home.

I'm here for a literacy conference and yesterday I presented a paper.  This was my first time presenting at a conference of this size and status.  Needless to say, I was a little nervous and certainly felt out of my league.  However, the presentation went beautifully, and I received some very positive, encouraging feedback about my study.  In fact, multiple people asked to read my paper! 

Academia can be an intimidating field, and I'm often haunted by feelings of insecurity.  I doubt myself and my abilities, but with each success, those self-depleting voices are slowly becoming silenced.  After seeing several other presentations and getting such positive feedback yesterday, I have a renewed sense of belief in myself. 

I also feel re-inspired to get this paper done and put it out there for publication, something I've been avoiding because of my fears that it wasn't good enough.  I'm reminded of a quote I once heard:

“If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it.” ~John Irving

I am finally starting to feel like I can play in this playground and do so with some confidence. It feels good....really, good.


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