Run Like the Wind

I was fortunate to have a fairly easy pregnancy.  I didn’t feel very good during the first trimester, but I wasn’t sick all the time like some women I know.  The hardest part for me early on was the fatigue.  I was constantly wiped out. 

Pregnancy was a very humbling experience for me.  I was constantly in awe of my body.  I have close friends who have struggled with infertility so I was constantly aware of what a blessing my pregnancy was.  As my body changed and grew, I tried to be very mindful of the miracle that was happening.  I often just stared at myself in the mirror…trying to wrap my head around the fact that I was growing a person!  When you really stop and think about it, it’s pretty mind-blowing. 

While I was pregnant, I ate really healthy and exercised well into my third trimester.  During the last 6 weeks, I stopped working out because I was so tired and it was 173 degrees in St. Louis.   I gained 40 lbs in total, which wasn’t too bad considering I had to be induced at 41 weeks.

After Liam was born, I dropped 20 lbs right away.  I give credit to breastfeeding and also the stress of trying to cope with a low milk supply.  I must admit that I was thrilled to lose those 20 lbs quickly….I took it as a sign that the rest of the weight would just fall off.

Not so much.  Liam will be 6 months old next week and I’m still carrying 20 lbs of baby weight.  Despite joining Weight Watchers and trying to exercise regularly, the scale just won’t budge.  The worst part  is that I have a closet full of clothes that I still can’t fit into.  I don’t feel good about myself either.  When I see pictures, I hardly recognize myself with my double chin.


Everyone tells me I’m being too hard on myself….it took 9 months to put it on and it takes 9 months to take it off.   I get that, but at the end of the day, I want to feel good and healthy again.  I want to be able to wear my cute clothes and not have to try to conceal my back fat...  


But, it’s hard to stay motivated when you are frustrated by the scale. There is nothing more defeating than carefully watching your diet and exercising diligently for a week, only to step on the scale and see it hasn’t budged!  So frustrating!


So, in the spirit of positivity, I have decided to focus less on the weight and more on getting into shape….which led me to register for the Go St. Louis Half-Marathon on April 15^th.  I ran a half-marathon in 2004 and it’s one of my proudest moments. I have never felt as healthy and fit as I did during that race. I want to feel that way again.


I know that I’m trying to juggle a lot right now…and I really need another “project” like I need a hole in my head, but I want…I NEED to do this.  I tend to be very goal oriented and I like to have something to work towards.  If nothing else, training for this race will help keep me accountable to my workouts.  In the end, I will be in shape.  If the weight comes off then that’s an added bonus.  But, this is not about the weight.  This is about feeling good.


I began training this week.  Yesterday I ran for 30 minutes around our very hilly neighborhood.  It hurt like hell.  My legs and my lungs burned, but afterwards, I felt amazing.  Today, I have an extra pep in my step, and I swear my thighs might just be a little smaller!