I didn't realize the influence this dissertation would have on my perception of time. I've got a pretty rigorous writing schedule in place, and I'm finding that my days are flying by. It's okay. I know that this is how it has to be. But a life "pause" button would be pretty awesome right now.
The good news is that I'm making progress. The bad news is that, aside from being a wife and mom, all I really do is think about my dissertation. It's super nerdy and strange to constantly be drafting sentences in your head....to lay awake at night theorizing and thinking about data. Everyone says it becomes a love/hate relationship, and I'm beginning to see why.
In any case, I'm approaching this from a place of acceptance. If I'm going to reach this goal then I need to dedicate myself to it. And if that means several boring, isolated months, then so be it.
I've also accepted that it means 2014 will likely be a light blogging year. I'm finding that my desire to blog is significantly less now that I'm immersed in academic writing. I will definitely continue to blog, but my posts are already proving to be less frequent.
It's okay though. I can return more fully to this space in several months when I come out on the other side.
In the meantime, I'll do what I can.
Acceptance and faith. That's where I'm at right now.
And when I'm not "dissertating". I'm trying to soak up every bit of time with my little family. My boys. They truly are the lights of my life.
And this little guy is my anchor to the present. When I'm with him, time stands still. He gives me the gift of the moment...reinforcing for me, that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be.
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