Yesterday afternoon, it dawned on me that I'm happy. Really really happy.
Nothing special had happened. It was a normal, summer afternoon for us. Liam had taken a long afternoon nap. Some of my favorite music was playing softly in the background. We were reading books and playing with blocks. Liam was busy babbling and trying to make words.
As I sat there and watched him, I felt an incredible sense of lightness.
It dawned on me that I'm no longer overwhelmed. Gone are the anxiety and hurt that I felt when I had to leave him every morning for work. Gone are the days of feeling like I can't catch up. Gone are the laundry piles and the sleep deprivation.
These days, we awake gently with no alarm clock. I get to sip coffee while we play. Sometimes we run errands. Sometimes we go to the park. Sometimes we meet Andrew for lunch. Sometimes we go to the pool. Sometimes we just stay in our pajamas all day.
Our days are leisurely and fun. We spend hours simply playing and exploring.
Starting in mid-August, I'll be back in school. I'll start working two days a week, and I'll have classes and research to focus on. I realize that beginning a dissertation will bring new challenges, but I hope to preserve this sense of balance.
Until then....I'm just going to soak up these lazy summer days and treasure every. single. moment with this precious little guy.
Watching him discover the world around him...learning to walk....learning to talk. It's perhaps the coolest thing ever.
Life is good. Truly truly good.
(By the way, right after I took this picture, he ate his first piece of bark....ummm...not so good. But my husband assured me that we don't have a poisonous tree. So I'm just thinking of it as extra fiber...)
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